


Off and On - Anxieties and Regrets

by run_sure_footed



Series: Before Kipo [3]
Category: Kipo and the Age of Wonderbeasts (Cartoon)
Genre: Break Up, Breathplay, Bruising, Choking, M/M, Makeup, Mod Frog societal pressure, Name Calling, Paranoia, angry make-up sex offscreen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-27
Updated: 2020-08-27
Packaged: 2021-03-06 22:35:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,926
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26146507
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/run_sure_footed/pseuds/run_sure_footed
Summary: So, this is the first instalment of Off and On, which is a series of break-ups/make-ups between Harris and Jamack. We headcanon the Underfrogs in their mid 30s when they meet Kipo and Harris/Jamack have been off and on since their 20s. They are not the most stable of couples.Each fic isn’t specifically them breaking up or making up, they’re not usually the actual conversation, but they show the pivotal moment where their relationship is about to change. We’re posting them in order with the other fics we have written about the underfrogs (mostly Jamack and Harris, let’s be honest, but Kwat has her moments) so the timeline will be kept in order. Hopefully :PEnjoy!
Relationships: Harris/Jamack (Kipo and the Age of Wonderbeasts)
Series: Before Kipo [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1878325
Comments: 3
Kudos: 16





	Off and On - Anxieties and Regrets

_Anxieties_

It all started with a word: “Jamack—” The rest of the sentence was cut off when the speakers noticed Harris was within hearing range, but that one word, coupled with their sudden silence, was enough. They _knew_. Well, maybe they didn’t know, but they were close. Too close. Yes, he and Jamack were associates, but hearing Jamack’s name and knowing it was almost certainly in relation to him, and the expressions on their faces… No. He couldn’t let this continue.

He knew exactly where Jamack would be at that time of day, which he _shouldn’t have_ , not if they were just collegues. And ugh, Jamack was _there_. And Harris caught the brief flash of a smile before Jamack pretended to clear his throat. That look made his heart stutter, and that was the problem, right there. No. It was better to end it now, early, before things could get any messier between them. Whatever the others might have ignored from two mateless Frogs during the mating season wouldn’t be tolerated now that it was over.

“Uh, Jamack?” Harris asked. “I wanted to talk to you about the numbers on your most recent expense report.” There. A perfectly valid, not-at-all suspicious reason to talk to him in private, but he could still see the way the other Frogs looked at each other and pointedly _not_ at Harris or Jamack. They were all but winking and nudging each other. He felt a croak building up in his throat sac and quickly turned away so he could thump himself on the chest before it could emerge.

“Of course,” Jamack said agreeably, following Harris to one of the semi-private offices that were available for younger Mod Frogs who hadn’t earned their own private spaces yet. He could practically feel the anxiety vibrating off of Harris and he frowned as he shut the door. “You’re alright?”

Fuck. Jamack looked so concerned and attentive. Harris just wanted to fall into his arms and let Jamack tell him everything would be alright. Harris would believe him. Jamack was very convincing.

No. He had to be ruthless. He forced himself to stand straighter. “Yeah, I’m fine,” he drawled. “I just wanted to tell you—this?” He gestured between the two of them. “Us? Over. It was fun during mating season, but I’m moving on now. So should you.”

Jamack took a full six seconds to even process what Harris had said, what he meant by that. It was like his brain had completely stalled. His immediate response was to take it as teasing. Their relationship was antagonistic, especially on Harris’ part. This was just more of that, right? But Harris’ expression was cold. All he could come up with, after far too long a silence, was, “Why?”

Harris snorted. Fuck, the look on Jamack’s face now was even more heartbreaking.

It only strengthened his resolve. “Like I said, it was a fun distraction while everyone else was getting it on.” _Getting it on?_ That didn’t sound like him, sounded like he was just playing a part—which, of course, he _was_. He had to dial it back a little.

He sighed. “Look, Jamack. We’re not froglets anymore. We have to grow up now.”

“Huh.” Jamack nodded. Hesitated. Nodded again. “You’re right.” He did not believe Harris was right, but he knew he _ought_ to. Their relationship was a weakness, he could admit that, but it was also one of the few things he had that made him happy.

“Right. Well.” Harris looked down at their shoes. He thought back to their etiquette classes. What should he do in this situation? What should he say? Well, Jamack had always been better at that sort of thing, but he was pretty sure the answer was that he shouldn’t _be_ in this situation in the first place, but it was far, far too late for that. Now it was just damage control. He held out his hand.

Jamack laughed, the sound harsh. “No, I don’t think so.” Maybe it was cruel, leaving Harris without even that, but maybe that was better. He didn’t want to end this with a handshake. This hadn’t been a business transaction. At least, not on his part. It should have been. What an idiot he’d been. He brushed past Harris and headed back outside to the Pond, suddenly craving a little clean water, and some space to swim.

*

_Regrets_

The next week was hard. Jamack would find himself talking to Harris as he always did, would find himself enjoying his company, and then suddenly withdraw from whatever conversation they were having when he remembered that things had changed. It didn’t seem to be effecting Harris much, if at all. He cursed himself regularly for feeling _anything_ about this, let alone hurt. That was the worst thing to feel!

And of course, he and Harris had set up their scouting schedule to give themselves plenty of opportunities to be alone, which was suddenly much less enjoyable.

Harris had to dip into his ultra-secret chocolate stash, but he managed to convince Kwat to trade shifts with him. It was cowardly of him to avoid Jamack, and probably suspicious in and of itself for him to suddenly stop spending so much time with him, but he knew he couldn’t trust himself around Jamack. If Jamack questioned him at all, he knew it would shatter his flimsy resolve.

Kwat quickly got sick of being a buffer between her two friends. She hated it when they fought, but this time seemed even worse. They’d gotten a lot closer recently, and she had her suspicions about how their relationship had changed, but it wasn’t something she really wanted to talk about with them. Finally, she put her foot down, forcing Harris to go out on patrol with Jamack during a night shift.

 _Well, I know_ someone _who’s never getting chocolate again,_ Harris thought, pointedly staring straight ahead and not focusing on Jamack. There was an awkward silence between them that had never existed before. Well, not longer than a few days, maybe, if they’d had an argument. Never this bad. Never this long. He _missed_ Jamack, missed him keenly. It was an almost-physical ache. He wanted to lean over, to touch Jamack’s hand. Knew he shouldn’t. Knew he _couldn’t_. He’d done what he had to do, and now he had to live with the consequences. For the rest of his life. Alone.

He sighed. No, it would get easier, surely. Eventually they could get back to the way they’d been before this whole mess started. Yeah. That would be fine.

Something flew overtop of the car and spooked the dragonfly. Whatever it was, it had been massive and it was gone before they could properly see it. They were forced to get out of the car when the dragonfly refused to move, wings quivering but not propelling them forwards. Jamack knelt by it, soothing it quietly, a hand on its side. Some of the dragonflies spooked more easily at night.

Both Jamack and Harris kept a nervous eye on the dark sky.

Harris couldn’t help groaning aloud. This was the last thing he needed! “Can’t you make that stupid thing go any faster?” he snapped. He hated being stalled out in the open like this. Sure, they had better night vision than anything else out there, but danger could come at them from any direction—including below, where they’d have little to no warning except perhaps some vibrations.

“Give her a minute,” Jamack shot back, teeth gritted. If a dragonfly was spooked it might freeze the way this one had, or it might simply take off wildly, which could put them and the car in serious danger. This was the better option and Jamack refused to scold or punish the dragonfly for that.

“You’re supposed to be _so_ good with them…” Harris muttered, crossing his arms over his chest.

Jamack stood, walking evenly over to Harris. Once he was close enough, he shoved him against the car, pinning his skinny arms against it. “I thought maybe you’d stop being such an asshole after I gave you some space!” He gave him a shake. “What the hell is wrong with you? I thought we could still be close!” Not that Jamack had made much of an effort to be friendly over the last week, but he’d been afraid of further rejection. That would hurt even more, if Harris wasn’t just done with him as a sexual partner, but completely _done_ with him. Maybe they couldn’t even be close anymore, like they had been all their lives.

Harris gritted his teeth and looked down and away. He knew he should fight back, should push Jamack away before he thought he could just grab Harris and get away with it, but he didn’t _want_ to. This was the closest he’d been to Jamack in a week. This close, he could smell him. Almost taste him through his skin where Jamack’s hand circled his wrists.

He wanted to struggle, but he didn’t want to get away. He forced himself to go very, very still instead.

“Do you want to keep doing this?” Jamack asked. He sounded so tired.

“This?” Harris wasn’t trying to be an asshole, not this time, not really. He just wanted to make sure they were both clear about exactly what they were agreeing to. And he would agree, he knew that much already.

“Patrolling together. Working together. Seeing each other at all.”

“I don’t think we have a choice about all that,” Harris said carefully. “But…”

“But?”

“But…I don’t think that’s what you’re talking about.” Harris couldn’t come right out and say it, but he didn’t think it would take long for Jamack to break and spell it out for them both. Jamack liked the sound of his own voice too much, but Harris had long since learned how to use it to his advantage.

Jamack narrowed his eyes. He was pretty sure that _had_ been what he was talking about. But this wasn’t the first time Harris had manipulated the conversation so Jamack would come out and say something Harris didn’t want to voice. “We don’t have a choice to spend time together,” he said, repeating Harris’ last thought. It might not be true, though it was likely to hurt one or both of their careers if they couldn’t work it out. It struck him quite suddenly and he laughed, the sound grating. “You asshole, you’re _regretting_ it!”

“Regretting…?” Harris said with as much innocence as he could summon—which wasn’t much.

“If you didn’t want to stop, you shouldn’t have ended it!” Jamack grimaced, angry for a moment, then slid a hand to Harris’ throat, pressing his fingers tightly over the spot where his pulse thumped against his skin.

Harris gasped, and now he started to struggle. Not to get away, not really, but just to feel the thrill of Jamack keeping him in place, keeping him right where he wanted him.

“Asshole,” Jamack growled, tightening his fingers harder, his grip bruising Harris’ thin skin.

Harris grinned his mad grin, nodding as much as he could. He let his head tip back, eyes fluttering closed. Oh, how he’d missed this. Not that he could ever say such a thing!

Jamack’s anger was quick to turn into lust with Harris’ eager reactions, but he was still rougher, crueler with Harris than he’d ever been before.

Harris revelled in it.

By the time they got back into the car, the dragonfly had long since calmed down.


End file.
